What's the most. important. thing?

Ahhhhhhhh life, that never ending ride that could tilt at any given moment.  One of the primary tenets of buddhism is that the only thing that’s absolutely certain in life is that things will change.  I have fought this platitude (which I have always said I hate but have secretly come to appreciate) with a vice like grip, holding on for dear life and hoping that if I can just get it right, everything’s that good will remain the same. You can guess what happened.  

Sometimes we face overwhelming uncertainty, get caught in the throes of something completely unexpected like losing our job or someone we love. How do we figure out what’s the most important thing when we have absolutely no clue where to  begin?  I know you know this, but I’m going to say it anyway, you have to start where you are.  But what does that meeaaaaan? you might say.  It simply means this, stop fighting sweetheart, (this is what I have to say to myself). Release the grip as best you can and let whatever you’re experiencing be exactly how it is.  Sad?  Let yourself have a big messy cry.  Enraged?  Find a safe way to express your anger with someone you trust.  Terrified?  Name the fear, I’m so so afraid.  Then watch what happens.  

When we make space for our experience, what we’ve been fighting the most can begin to shift.  S L O W L Y, so painfully slow sometimes I know.  This is the practice of noticing, allowing and being with what is. I know it sounds like the absolute worst thing in the world because we get so afraid  that we think that if we allow ourselves to feel our messy, yucky feelings that we will NEVER get out of them, they will eat us alive, suck us back and we will NEVER recover, but what can actually happen is, we begin to crack the story, and if we’re lucky, we have someone to help us see that there’s a little sliver of light, look, over there, can you see it?  Just barely...  But that’s the way through people, it’s really, truly, the only way to get through this and begin to figure out what’s the most important thing in any given moment.